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托福满分作文是怎样的?

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托福满分作文是怎样的?
 

首先我们先从结构、内容和语言三个方面揭秘托福作文得满分的真相。


以下题为例: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinions.




一、结构




按题材划分,独立任务属于议论文,而论点、理由、论据、结论和论证是议论文的五个要素。具体来说,“论点”是文章的核心,“理由”是论点成立的依据,两者构成因果关系;“论据”是对理由的具体解释,多为事例;“结论”是对观点的重申,两者一脉相承、头尾呼应;而整个写作过程就是一个“论证”的过程。


要想作文得高分,这五要素就必须面面俱到,如此才能写出结构严谨、条理清晰的高分作文


先上一篇范文(下拉可见全文):


As society progresses remarkably, tremendous changes have taken place in people’s life. Nevertheless, some senior citizens cherish the memory of good old days with healthy environment and harmonious interpersonal relationships. As far as I’m concerned, despite serious environmental pollution and prevalence of materialism, 【背景介绍,作者给出了两个时代的对比】 I still believe today’s life to be easier and more comfortable than it was when our grandparents were children. 【提出论点】 I am going to elaborate my viewpoint from three aspects as follows. 【过渡句,承上启下】


To begin with, modern communication technology has changed our lives a lot and provides us with much convenience. 【理由 1】To be more specific, with the wide application of smartphones and the Internet, it is possible for people to contact each other even if they live separately. 【论证为什么理由 1 可以推出观点】 For example, Lily, one of my best friends, is lucky to be admitted into a famous university in America, which means we cannot always hang out together. But thanks to the modern communication technology, we still keep frequent touch with each other on Skype anytime, anywhere. Therefore we feel never apart.


【例子 1】


Besides, a variety of means of transportation make it quick and cozy for people to travel. 【理由 2】 Subways, taxis, private cars, high-speed railways shorten the distance between places. 【论证为什么理由 2 可以推出观点】A good example in point is that my grandparents used to live in suburbs, and anytime they want to do some shopping in urban center, it usually took them 2 hours, owing to bumpy roads and low-efficient old-fashioned vehicles. On the contrary, with great improvement of road condition and advanced traffic modes, they only have to spend 20 minutes a most traveling from home to the city. If it is very hot in summer, all modern vehicles are air-conditioned, which can make the trip very comfortable.


【例子 2】


Last but not least, today’s ample food supply and various food choices are something beyond imagination in the past. 【理由 3】 Decades ago, in China, all foods used to be arranged by the government. In other words, it was impossible for people to purchase what they liked to eat. 【论证为什么理由 3 可以推出观点】 For example, an average family was only allocated 1 pound of pork and 2 pounds of rice. In contrast, nowadays, we never have to worry about the lack of food because supermarkets and snack bars abound.


【例子 3】


To sum up, because of the progress of economy and technology, I am convinced that life at present is more comfortable and easier, which can be well demonstrated through examples of convenient communication, quick and cozy traffic modes and sufficient food supply and choices. 【总结理由,重申观点】 If our government takes efficient measures to solve the environmental problem, our world will become a better place to live.【提出建议,展望未来】


议论文除了五要素,在给出论点之前多会有简单的背景介绍,不需要长,三两句话即可,为论点的提出造势。



二、内容



这篇范文通过通讯、交通和饮食三个方面,共同论证现在的孩子相较其祖父辈生活的更轻松、舒适,每个理由下面都有具体的事例作为细节支撑,让论证更有说服力。


以饮食为例,作者举例说,以前食品由政府分配,数量有限制,人们不能随心所欲买到需要的食品;而现在则大不一样,在超市里人们可以买到任何所需物品。这种新旧对比,更鲜明的表现出现代社会物资丰富、人们的选择权增加,由此可推断人们的生活变得更便捷、舒适,从而证明论点。



三、语言



一篇高分作文在语言上,首先要保证语法正确,用词恰当,这样才能准确达意。在此基础上可以追求更多样、高级的表达。例如,文章开头要表现“社会发展迅速,人们的生活发生了天翻地覆的变化”这一含义,最常见的表达为:


Sample 1: Our society develops quickly, and people’s life has changed greatly.


Sample 2: With the rapid development of society, enormous change has happened in people’s life.


Sample 3: As society progresses remarkably, tremendous changes have taken place in people’s life.


通过三个句子对比可知,其中“迅速”的三种表达方式,quickly 最为平淡,rapid 居中,remarkable 最佳。同样的,要表达“翻天覆地”的含义,tremendous 就要比 great 或者 enormous 好的多,其他替换的词还有 considerable,drastic,significant 等等。


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